When we say self-love there seems to be a lot of misconceptions associated with this one word, so adding the word ” activist ” into the mix only further confuses the heck out of people.. For instance I’ve been hearing this a lot lately – “what the heck is that” , “is self-love the same as being selfish?”, ” do you get paid for this” and my favorite ” you’re wasting your time”…. today I wanted to sort off explain and share my reasoning for advocating for self-Love and clearing up the many myths as to what “self-love” is.
So why did I chose to advocate for self-Love and not depression or even perhaps dosmestic violance ? All though I’m very open about my past troubles I don’t want to come across as a victim since yes I’ve been abused and yes I’ve struggled with depression. I personally feel ( through my own experiences ) that when you use the word depression and anything associated with domestic violence people tend to right away put a label on your forehead. Beside that through all those traumatic bad experiences I came to the realization that during those time one thing was consistent.. I truly hated myself! I blamed myself for every little bad thing that happened and believed every negative harsh word that was ever said to me! Why? Because I had ZERO self esteem. It wasn’t until I began my own self healing journey that I was able to discover how life changing loving yourself is! Loving and accepting yourself for the most part prevents us from falling into the hands of an abusive partner because we now know our self worth as well as also discouraging us to further fall into deeper depressions because we now see and feel things in a much brighter light. In my opinion self-love can truly Safe lives because it safed mine.
What is self-love? Self-love is simply just being you! It has NOTHING to do with how you look, how much you weight, or how much money you make. It’s about knowing who you are and finally freeing yourself of negative self talk and thoughts. It’s about facing and addressing those hard questions that make us feel down , like “what am I holding onto that’s weighing me down? “. It’s about forgiving yourself , taking responsibility, moving forward and learning. It’s about seeing yourself as a beautiful person in and out regardless of your size, shape, weight and skin color!
Why do I think self-love is so important? We live in a world of social media filled with fitness models, photoshopped everything, diet teas, lavish lifestyles and perfect relationships and all though many people will NOT admit it that all of that has only encouraged people ( mainly women ) not to love themselves because we are constantly comparing ourselves to these people who aren’t what they assume to be( there are apps to inhance your looks , six packs and all ) . You have these “instagram models”( including myself once upon a time) going to such extreme measures to achieve the “perfect body” and look like what our society has labeled as ” beautiful ” all for the one and only culprit…we are way to concerned about what other people think of us! Trust me when I say that I used to be so worried about what others thought of me to the point that it affected my behaviors. I wouldn’t achieve some of the things that I wanted because I was mortified of putting myself out there to be judged by others. I was a prisoner of my own fear of the judgments of others untill I broke free from that state of mind. Don’t get me wrong , yes there will always be some people in your life who will in fact judge and criticize everything that you do but believe me their opinions mean nothing.
Advocating for self-love is not as easy as I thought it would be. The one thing I noticed right away after creating all new social media pages was that I didn’t have the thousands of ” followers ” and ” likes” that I used to have on my old ( and deleted) pages where I would post endless gym, bikini and sexy photos of myself desperately trying to fit in with the rest while hiding my increasing anxiety and depression. I’m actually shocked and dissapinted that I haven’t gotten much support at all from all the close people that I actually know. Matter of fact most of the people who follow me and show me support for my work are people I have recently just met or people who came across my page and felt inspired or simply just liked what I’m doing… the old me would right away feel discouraged and go cry but the new me is totally ok with it because I have been receiving so many touching messages and support from people I never met who in some way or shape I have touched their hearts and motivated them to simply just have hope and faith!
The journey of self-love is a very long one with many highs and lows but also , it’s a very rewarding one. Once you start to love yourself you start to attack the right kind of people into your circle, you start to realize how fulfilling it is to lift and inspire others, and in no time new doors just start to open up!